Control
Photo taken by Emmy Stevens
A girl walks into a pale bathroom
into the mirror alone
Spare her
foggy reflection.
She leans in close and picks into her skin.
Any irritation
Zit
Or scrape
Will be shoveled out into her nails
And scraped into the sink.
Squeezed until pink
White tears washed away
Such a satisfying conclusion.
Germinating the seeds of future boils.
Leave their bleeding mothers behind.
Mounds gushing into hardened scrap.
They’ll never leave her.
She moves to her lashes.
Pluck
Pluck
Pick
Search out every single itch.
Leave nothing behind
Save for the satisfaction.
The little hairs can’t retaliate.
How could they?
Reach out and wrap around her hand.
Scratch
Scrape
Prick
Tangle and immobilize
Pink and stinging
Such tiny lashes
couldn’t hope to overpower her fingers.
It is powerless.
Pluck
Pluck
Burn
She grows wary of her face
Into the minefield she created on her back.
Away from unblinking eyes and wrinkled brows.
Hidden and hiding.
Scrape it all away.
Wait for it to regrow tomorrow.
Stir in a bed of sandpapered skin and wet cardboard for a face.
A girl leans close to a foggy mirror.
Her reflection sharp as her eyes hide away.
Nobody could stop her.
Her body couldn’t stop her.
She couldn’t stop herself.
I never could.