The Walls Are Painted Green
Photo taken by Emmy Stevens
The walls are painted green.
They've been green for a while now and I don't think I like it anymore. They're like a field of tall grass. I feel like I'm on a savanna and there are too many bugs hiding around me, waiting to bite me. I feel as if I'm being hunted by something. So I run, but I don't like running in the tall grass. I can't see where I'm going and I'm scared the grass will cut me. It's too flat and dry to not. Once its starts, the long blades will bend to my skin, cutting me even more. But I can't stop to safely nudge them away. I'm being hunted.
So I've decided to repaint my walls.
I could paint them blue.
Blue is such a calm color. It's like I'm floating through the sky, surrounded by thin clouds and fresh air. But the sky is too endless. There's nothing below me and no matter how far I fly, there's nothing there. I don't like this. The air is so thin. Why isn't there anything around me? It's too open. Nothing to ground me. It's so lonely.
No. I don't like it.
Maybe I could paint them red?
People always say red is like fire, but fire is orange. I'd never paint my walls orange. Red is more like a rose petal. It's so soft and beautiful. It smells like I'm in a flower field. But also like perfume. On second look, the red doesn't look alive. It's not like a flower. It's like the box of a cosmetic. It's like industry grey, but more constricted. I feel like I'm wading through lipstick. But you can't swim in lipstick. I'm sinking in mushy chemical red.
No. No. I don't like this either.
There must be a color I'd like.
Yellow? No. That's more chemical than red.
Purple? Wait, I'd be choking in a pool of poison!
Pink? It's too saturated. I feel like it's judging me. Pushing me around.
Beige? I'd be like everyone else. My features would smooth over into a faceless blob.
White? No. I'd stain it. I'd ruin it.
This is too hard.
I wish I could skip this altogether. But I can't not have walls. Where would I invite people in? What would keep me safe from outside elements? What would hold up my ceiling? What would keep me from falling off my floor and plummeting into the void?
Maybe I should just keep the walls green.
Even if I don't like it, it's easier than changing them.
But what if I painted with multiple colors?
Rainbow would be too overwhelming, but maybe I could paint with two.
I could make one wall beige and the other three blue. It'd be like a sandy beach. The tide's rhythmic lapping is so relaxing. I'm not completely alone, people sometimes stop by. I can bring my friends here. But It's still my own private beach. I can lay on the warm sand and watch the seagulls circle above.
I like it here.
But what if the waves get too intense for me to handle?